Judgement

One of my a #1 pet peeves?   Pretentious people.


All of us think we are right in the way we think or feel- otherwise we wouldn't feel that way. One thing that really gets under my skin is when someone who has no life experiences make judgments on how others live through theirs.  There is a line of course, if you hurt people in the process or are just making terrible decisions and not learning your lesson that is one thing; but to think that you are in-fact better than everyone around you is ludicrous. Where does this usually happen?  Extreme religious cases.  I have faith. I am spiritual. I believe that this big earth and everyone in it is not here by chance. But me not being in church every Sunday and spending every day talking about Jesus doesn't make you better than me, give me a break.  It doesn't work that way.

Secondly, on relationships. Standards are good, they are necessary. It makes sense to want someone who has the same beliefs and morals as you do, however some of the strongest and most beautiful people, and most that are truly "saved"; got that way from coming out of something terrible and finding something beautiful. They are strong, brave and individualistic. They have seen life first hand and know that acting like a good person, and actually being a good person, are 2 completely different things. So before you decide that a relationship isn't a good idea because someone isn't exactly like you- take the time to think that maybe- just maybe- THEY are the better person.   End rant.

Matthew 7:1-5 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

If I could write a letter to me....

People say they wouldn't change a thing- even if they could.  But I would.


I love my life.  It's kind of perfect.  The arrogant part of me really believes that I have become a better version of myself in alot of ways simply through accepting my faults and flaws, and loving myself anyways.  I Thank Jon for alot of this.  If anyone knows me 100% inside out, it's him.  However, if I could know just where I would end up no matter what- there are some things I would change.


If I could write a letter to me, it would go a little something like this.


"Dear Randi,
You are 5.  This year you will be in Mrs. Countryman's class and you will have the pleasure of meeting her pet Rabbit- Bilbo.  Do not stick your fingers in the cage- he WILL bite you.  I know you will do it anyways, but you were warned.   You will love storytime! Be sure and grab a good spot on the red tape on the floor.  Later in the year you will be introduced to the sand station and will master making sand stars...it is right next to the bathroom so make sure you go if you need to because your bladder sucks....yes it will fail you at least once this year....it isn;t your fault- those Osh Kosh zippers blow.


There is a little blonde down the street you should meet.  Her name is Nicole and you will love her.  You will know her because her laugh is so loud you can hear it at your house with the windows closed, and...get this...she has a fort under her bunk bed!  She will be one of your best friends so make sure you remember to treat her well, and if there is a fight say you are sorry if it is your fault....she will always say it first, but you need to make sure you say it too.


When you are 8 you will make 3 more friends- Jill, Jessica and Megan.  These girls are people you want to know.  You will know Jill because the first time you see her- she will be dragging a schnauzer down the street.  Go say hello!  You will know Megan because she is Jills best friend- she's a bit quieter but give her time.  Jessica will be the first to be open and friendly, don't laugh because anytime she says "shleep" instead of "sleep"...she's sensitive about it.


When you are 12 life is going to deal you a pretty awful card.  You need to make sure you hug Grandma Jean and Grandpa Bill as often as possible. Don't get upset with Grandpa Bill for yelling at you when you put your feet on the tv...he doesn't mean it.  Oh- always check the second drawer in the blue bedroom- he and Grandma Donna will leave you presents. Also check under his chair- there is always quarters ;)  Grandma Jean likes when you sit on her lap, so do it all the time, and try your hardest to memorize her face and the way she smells- like perfume and  laundry detergent.  Grandpa will laugh when you ask to comb his hair when it looks all crazy- but he loves it.  Remember to tell them how much you love them everytime you leave.When it cant get any worse this year...Nicole moves away, and its hard. You will learn that you can be close with someone even if they don't live nearby. this is a hard lesson- but you will make it through all right. Make sure you keep calling her.  All the time.  She has a hard time, too.


You are 16!  Don't be scared to drive, it really isn't so bad. When you start your new job at the grocery store  make sure and tell ( a few) of the girls who give you a hard time to shove it as often as possible...they never get any better.  Stick with your girlfriends, they are your best bet. Guess what- most of them will work with you! Cut your parents a break- they really do mean well.  They know alot more than you, and don't be to stubborn to realize that.  


HINT: If they accuse you of things you aren't doing- and you Yell "I'm NOT!!!" It really looks like you are lying. Answer in an even tone....cool your jets.


You are graduating high school!  When you go to project graduation dont spend your entire night in the bingo room- yes they will have the best prizes, but there's to much going on you will miss.  When you hang out with everyone this summer BE CAREFUL. You will love that they have motorcycles but if mom finds out they are popping wheelies with you on the back she will freak out....for good reason.  


Be smart with your heart.  Don;t give it up all at once. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck- its probably a damn duck. I know you think you are ready and this is right, But deep down you know you are trying to salvage something...that won't complete the puzzle- it will make it worse.  When you're  really ready you won't have to convince yourself you are. Don't settle.  Don't ever be an option for someone you make a priority. You are NOT a consolation prize. Don't compromise yourself, and don't let anyone make you feel like a convenience. Speak up, stand up, and walk away.


COLLEGE BOUND!


This year you will take Algebra and English Comp.  You will learn the ins and outs of college life, and you will make a few new friends.  Public Speaking blows- but dont stop going or you will fail. 


The guy who sings will dump you because you aren't a ho. Its fine-he is a grade-A jackass.  Punch him in the face before you tell him to screw off.


ENTER SECOND SEMESTER:
There will be some guys you don't have the nerve to talk to...and thats ok! But there is this one.  You will know him because his laugh fills the entire room and he looks like he got dressed in the dark.  I know he looks homeless.  


Hint:  Approach him. It will save you alot of time....you will have to do it eventually- just do it ASAP. 
You will fall for him hard and fast, but keep it light.  This one scares easy. When you get the feeling he is pulling away from you- let him go.  He will come back.  In the mean time move in with some girl friends...Cortney Abbott is a perfect choice...and she will help you rip your bed apart in a fit of rage- AND let you sleep in bed with her if you are having a hard night. She'll want to kill him..as much as you agree-.convince her not to.


When he shows up after....a while.  Don't say harsh things.  When he says he loves you, and he will, he means it. When he doesn't know the right thing to say....and he won't alot of the time- watch the way he watches you.  Watch the way he tries not to laugh when you scream at him for eating the last cookie. Watch the way his arms open up when there's nothing left to say but I'm sorry.  Pay attention to the stolen smiles and giggles when you stub your toe and throw out the most un-lady-like words.. Listen to the way his breaths get short and choppy when he gets good and asleep (don't worry- he's fine).    


Be patient.
Be understanding.
Don't go to bed angry.
Don't punish him for things others have done.
Sometimes it is his fault..but resolve it and be done with it.
Love as much as you can, and when you feel like you are going to burst, love more.


We get one life.  Live every minute.

The Evils of Facebook and High School BS

Disclaimer" More random gripes from your truly- written in a funny sarcastic manner not in actual anger.  Any criticism of said article is not welcome- you read it- I didn't force you   ;)


Oh facebook....How I love and hate thee.  I love being able to keep in touch with the friends that lead busy lives such as I, and the friends that are to far away to visit as often as I would like.  I love that I can communicate with people at their and my convenience being that i work opposite hours than most, and I love that posting an invitation for suggestions for good massage parlors, hair products, and the other small details of my life has been made extremely simple.  However- I do not love how it has tuned many of its loyal users into a whiner, instigator, and downright coward.

Holy Shnikes I am sick of feeling like I am back in high school. I understand how once again this will seem a bit ironic or Inception-like; griping about how people's gripes, how they use their own personal space, freedom of speech, blah blah blah....save it please.  You sought this out as well so what makes you any better? Ha.  Gotcha.
My point being- I understand the need to vent (obviously); what I do not understand is the need to CONSTANTLY vent, the hilarious misrepresentation of ones self for others enjoyment/approval and the need to start conflict on a social networking sight in an extremely vague manner as to avoid any actual physical repercussions. Translation?  Bitching all the time about the same crap and making no changes, Saying you enjoy poetry and black and white classics when I know for a fact you spent most weekends of 4 years lighting up some reefer and puking on yourself (no no dont give me that liberal "that doesn't define you" crap), and my favorite- Talking shit about people and refusing to name who, while also refusing to do it in person because you know you are going to get your ass kicked.  Ok- here's the thing- I creep- like most on facebook. None of the people I am talking about- and it is no one in particular just a BUNCH of random  acquantances-are good friends of mine. So all of you that have decided I am talking about you and have gotten all huffed up and mad for no viable reason....chill. I love you.  Haha.

 I realize I bring it on myself as a snoop but I am encountering this so frequently that it has turned from a hilarious comic-strip like past time to a downright disgust for alot of my past peers.  Therefore I am exercising MY right to free speech and saying "are you freaking kidding me?"  By the way- using more words and complicated phrasing do not make you sound  more intelligent- they make you sound like a politician.  Like you are full of crap- and you have no concrete ideas of your own- so save it.  Oh and girls? The reason why you can't find a guy to take you seriously is because you have 17 facebook albums with your lady parts hanging out and a beer bong in your mouth. Stop crying about how he didn't call- you idiot.  If you have quotes under your quotations that you yourself have said- that are not funny but some kind of self-appointed philosophical discovery- I just feel bad for you.  That's like giving yourself a high five in public (Thank you Pinterest)- you just look stupid.  If you are going to say you  " feel bad for everyone around me- I was born to be successful"- make sure you spell "successful" correctly.  True story- hilarious.

I know how arrogant this seems- I always laugh when I scroll through my moody, bi-polar, I love my fiancee- worst day at work EVER!-man I want a cookie- "Re-post for what you believe in", bullcrap. We are all guilty of cursing the guy who cut us off on the highway on facebook for the world to share in our rage....some days it just gets to a be a bit ridiculous. Its those I dont associate with for obvious reasons who really get to me...its like Jersey Shore though- no matter how ridiculous i cant tear myself away from their trivial narcissistic lives.  Haha.    and I'm out!

Yeah...Im serious.

So as an extension of my last blog that 3 people probably read, and for my own amusement- for the last few days I have been told things about myself by a number of people. Observations they have made, Little mannerisms I don't realize I have, Things that reallly irritate me for no good reason.... Yep. This is a collection of completely useless information that I have tried to form into a witty interpretation of myself- strictly for your entertainment and to make me sleepy.  It's 11:35- if I watch anymore Nip/Tuck my brain is going to implode.

STRANGE/FUNNY/ FACTS:

My boss always knows when I'm getting ready to have my ladies days because I ask for a mini cheesecake.  On the same day of every month.   and only on that day.    Seriously.

I sneeze in 3's.  I never sneeze just once.  Like ever.

They have started to force me to look at my engagement ring at work when I get in a tizzy.  It helps.

I sleep the best when there is a baby on my chest.  Best.  naps.   ever.

I tell MY GM I bought my wedding dress, and he tells me there is a song Jon needs to download and listen to before the wedding, I ask him what it is and he says "Pink Floyd-  Run."

I work Italian, so I never want pasta on my days off. I don't like Mexican food.  I'll eat it, I don't hate it, but with me it's all steak, fried chicken, and mashed potatoes. Occasionally throw in some sushi and seafood :)

One of my favorite things about Ireland was the smell.

If I don't leave the t.v. on at night- my brain will reel until 6 in the morning unless I drug it with Nyquil.  Yes, I swear. The fun of being completely type A.

My bladder is like that of an old lady with dementia.  If I tell you I don;t have to pee- wait 10 minutes- then watch me try not to wet myself.

If I get so mad I cry- dont comfort me- RUN.   Its about to get ugly.

When I wake up i stumble in to my living room in whatever clothes were on the floor next to the bed- usually consisting of Jons T-shirt, my sleep shorts and mis-matched tube socks.   Sexy.

Even after 6 months every time I get in my "new" car- I get really happy.   :)

Disney anything always makes me happy.   Except the documentaries about the parks- those just make me want to go- and in turn make me depressed.

Stockings are my favorite thing at Christmas.  A big sock full of  tons of random stuff that I love?! YES PLEASE!

Relax Riesling will earn you a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a happy dance from me.  Regardless of who you are.

Jon says he can tell how my night at work was from the way I open the door.

Its amazing the food combinations I can come up with when I am to broke or lazy to go get something.  Today I had a turkey burger (just the patty)  with some mustard and an egg,  a few chips with hummus, and some grapes.  Oh and a cup of strawberry-kiwi juice.  Yum.

When I dont want to go to the gym- I force myself to put on my gym clothes anyways... this usually motivates me. When that doesn't work I watch "Heavy" on netflix...and end up doing crunches in front of the t.v.






THINGS THAT MAKE ME AN ANGRY BUNNY.

People who don't say "I'm sorry" and just wait for it to blow over, or do something nice instead, Piss me the eff  OFF.

If you are on the phone with me- don't have a 10 minute conversation about something un-important with someone in the room with you.  I will seriously hang up on you.

I have a ridiculously low tolerance for noise. I'm like an old lady. and I swear our kitchen has a noise quota they have to fill every day.

Having to talk to someone over loud music makes me want to rip my hair out.  Seriously.

Don't talk to me before I have been awake for at least 40 minutes and have one or two gulps of coffee in my system.   This is for your own safety.

If we are sitting at dinner, just the two of us- stop freaking texting.

Don't tell me you aren't hungry/thirsty then eat/drink half of mine.  I will kill you.

Screw you, tollbooth! I gave you 55 cents. Im not throwing in another dime because your stupid light didn't turn green.

If I don't ask- I don't expect you to tell me.  But don't offer up information or an explanation that I know is complete bullshit.  You're just gonna make me mad.

I hate when people blame everyone else, and refuse to think they may be the problem.  If 25 people tell you that you are a douchebag- maybe....JUUUUUST maybe....your just a douchebag.

Little kid at table 5- if you shake that empty cup at me one more time Im going to rip your little arm off . Whats that?  you had Sprite? and I gave you straight Soda water? and you took a great big drink of it? aww my mistake.....

Its not my fault your husband called me "darlin". Stop glaring at me you bizzle.


What  happened to all the men?

This drives me crazy. Why are boys in girls' pants?  Why are they wearing purses?  (satchel my ASS.)  Why are they wearing knit hats in the 110 degree heat?  Why are they a size 0? Why do they refuse to eat anything besides bark, and berries and all that other non-food, non-dairy, natural-vegan bullshit? . All of you trying to be weird...are just the same as everyone else.

Roided-out angry-opposite of aforementioned men.

Seriously?  You cry more than any girl I know.   Lay off the juice.  By the way....YES everybody knows.  Your arms are huge but there's nothing in your chest and it happened in like 3 weeks. Protein shakes my ass. Oh and muscles don't make up for the fact that your face is awful.  If you have to tell me how badass you are- Im going to laugh at you.

Pieces of Me

I believe this state is trying to burn us alive.

I believe in the beauty of a college education. Not for the piece of paper that says I completed it, but for the ability to be taught painting, Italian, and how to teach children.

I believe my youngest brother could be a stand-up comedian.

I believe my favorite foods are those associated with good memories.

I believe that all PEOPLE are created equal, regardless of gender, race,religion, or sexual preference.

I believe that the majority of girls who ends up being overly opinionated, stubborn, and refusing to tolerate being treated less than perfect-become that way after being all accepting, all forgiving and completely in love....and had the crap kicked out of them.     Either that or you were very spoiled as a child.  Haha

I believe that love is 500% honest. All the time. If its hard to say- it probably needs to be talked about.

I believe that I change change the world. Maybe not in a huge way, but I think It will make a difference. Think globally, act locally.

I believe that kids are so much smarter and more aware of things than anyone gives them credit for.

I believe that statements that hurt peoples feelings hurt them because there is truth in them, not saying that is bad or good- but otherwise you could completely discredit said statement,.

I believe that you say things to someones face. You don't have to be overly aggressive or an instigator about it, but if you are going to talk about them behind their back, you find a way to communicate it to them in person.

I believe that Bob Stoops is a badass.

I believe that french toast was made by the gods.

I believe that once you love someone,even if it turns sour, in a small way you love them for life.

I believe working out keeps me from killing people.

I believe the media gives little girls a terrible body image....BUT.....they watch their mothers/sisters etc. for how much confidence they end up having about their body, etc..

I believe the thought of death becomes more scary after you find your soulmate.

I believe sometimes forever doesnt seem like long enough.

I believe you should never compromise yourself, because its all you have.(Janis Joplin) but I do believe that when you love someone/people-compromise is part of the package, and although it might not always be happily, you do it.

I believe that holding grudges is wrong, but I still do it. I can't convince my heart to forgive those who tore it into pieces. Stubborn, stupid, heart.

I believe tears can be shed for any emotion, and they are beautiful. The vulnerability that makes us human is found in  them.

I believe that you dont marry someone because you are hopeful, you marry them because you are sure.

I believe that sheltering a child can lead the to act out, but allowing a child to act out leads them to feel absolved of repercussions and responsibility of their actions. I ibelieve it is a delicate balance, and when in doubt be a parent and not a friend.

I believe that sometimes people who dont have kids have valid points/opinions and people who have kids use the excuse "They dont have kids- what do they know" to invalidate those opinions/points.

I believe that most people are basically good, but lose sight of whats important in life.  I can be one of these people.

I believe that it isnt nice things that make people feel good about themselves, but peoples reactions to those nice things.

I believe Im self-aware enough to counter-act my completely bi-polar personality. I have learned to (pretty much) talk myself down- thanks to my ever-so-patient boyfriend. Haha

I believe the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I have been blessed, and I feel like I've found my way...

I thank God for all i've been given,
at the end of every day.
Have been blessed,
Oh yes.

Lyrics to a Martina McBride song. Yes they are simple, could've been written by any Joe Scmho with a notebook under a tree on a college campus....insert guitar playing simple melody.  But these words are a message that really ring true with me. Where as most have an adoration for the cleverly phrased, the deep and hidden meanings in things, and the "what does this mean to you?" poems and lyrics; I have a love for the beautifully simple. The sentences that say so much with so little, the things that children say in a fleeting moment that leave you breathless. Charles Bukowski once "An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way."  I cannot agree more.


Blessed in my mind doesn't mean everything is perfect, it means you are able to appreciate the good.  I am a lucky girl, I say it all the time and people probably get sick of hearing it. "Look at Randi; running around and smiling like she's old school Hilary Duff in a damn Disney Music Video..." then in the next 10 minutes im having a tantrum about the fact that I haven't eaten in 5 hours. Its annoying- I get it. But I don't know how not to be 100% real. I know how to cool myself off, I know how to sugar-coat, and I know how to play ge along to an extent, but being someone else at any point...  It doesn;t register with me; and Im really bad at it. Im a terrible liar- which is why i dont do it. I'm me....all the time.  


I am blessed in the sense that I am comfortable with myself. I am blessed in the sense that I KNOW those who love me, really love me for me because I'm always me. I am blessed in the sense that the bad parts of me- the selfish, grudge-holding, impatient,  temper-infused parts of me, are 100% evened out by my oh-so-giving, patient, mellow boyfriend.  Who may be the only person I am always 500% me with. Its like I have tourettes, and he loves me- sometimes even more in my moments of crazy haha. Now let it be known he secretly likes my temper and how worked up I get...Im passionate, damnit,  Haha


I am blessed in the sense that I am finally liking the gym. a big thanks to my friend Aly who keeps me going with our poolside chats and elliptical motivational phrases. 


I am blessed in the sense that I don't want braces- wierd I know- but I don't. It would be purely cosmetic. I used to HATE my teeth. They bothered me my entire life, I was always self-conscious and got made fun of....told by people "your face would be perfect if you had braces..." Pffft. Then I date Jon. This beautiful man who is missing phalanges haha, and you never notice. If you do, there are fun jokes and entertainment to follow, but its a lesson to people that different is better than average. Everyone wants to be "unique" but only in a way that is acceptable.Now I understand this to an extent- Jon and I hit the gym and whatnot, but those are things you can change- and there are things that have to be physically altered with help. Im not about to let someone hammer my teeth straight just  so my face can look like everyone elses, and if they came up with a surgery that gave him back all of his fingers and toes I would be pissed. Our kids will have parents that are comfortable with what makes them different and hopefully the magazine articles and media wont get the best of them. Now if it is something that bothers someone about themselves- I am all about doing what makes you happy-why i am hitting the gym so hard- im ok with my teeth-but my thighs could stand to get smaller... ;)


I am blessed. In every large way, small way, and which way. I forget just like everyone else. I take things for granted, I take days, months and years for granted.  I get caught up in the bills, and the job, and the gas prices. I sleep to much. I spend to much time on my couch watching TV shows that are no doubt killing my viable brain cells. But I love with all I am, scream with all I am, cry with all I am. I feel things. Im not to scared, Im not to careful, Im not to proud. Im balanced, im in love, and im....yeah....lucky.  :)

All I Want is Everything

I.   love.   my.   life.


I decided I wanted to be an adolescent psychologist in high school. I wanted to help the children who didn't have the reinforcement in their life that they needed. The kids the world had gotten the best of way to early, the kids who didn't get a fair shake. In my pure little mind I truly believed that I could make a difference doing this. Then I realized alot of things that, as an adult, tend to squish your vision.

a.) The kids have to be brought in by an adult. Most who need the most help dont have an adult who will bring them in.
b.) The stigma.  "Our child doesn't need THERAPY!". The stigma adults focus in on makes it sounds like talking to a professional means you are crazy, or screwed up. This goes back to the above, a child who needs help has to be brought in first- if the adult views this in a negative way- so will the child. This will lead to adulthood as well-they may never ask for help.
c.) To many push pills.  Sleeping pills. Anxiety pills. Hyperactive pills. Mood-balancing pills.  Anti-Depressants. None of these professionals want to talk about why a child is feeling this way. Dig deep, find the core of it. They operate with a pen and post-it. and if it helps the child I am all for it,  but can we try something else first?
d.)I am to selfish.  I know this about myself. I cannot devote myself completely and watch children fall apart, I dont have it in me not to stab the father of a little girl who tells me he is abusing her; and watch him take her home as I stand there-helpless. I can't watch the light in our world dim in the eyes of children who's eyes are glassy instead of bright and curious.

I can't.  I REFUSE. I have to inspire them; I have to let them know how amazing they are. I have to make sure the world doesn't take their prefect vision and rip holes in it before they are old enough to accomplish it.

When you are young, you are told you can be anything, do anything, see anything. As you get older you realize that the beauty in that statement is only found in the mind of a child. A child who isn't cynical yet, disheartened yet, seen the ugly parts of the world yet. Children dream; they imagine the impossible, they see the world in color.

   There is a big difference between the simple-minded and the simple; and children are a beautiful understatement of simplicity. When someone tells you something positive, you find yourself silently doubting or questioning them even if they have a point. Like Julia Robert's says in "Pretty Woman"- "The bad stuff is easier to believe"...  even the most uplifting of adults have an air of negativity the world has placed on them- resulting from disappointments they have had in their life, people they have lost, and challenges they feel they haven't met.  We have all felt small, unimportant, like we aren't enough. We have been pushed, shoved, mocked, rejected, laughed at, and worst of all defeated. 

Children have felt most of this by the time they are very young; but the amazing thing about children is they take the challenge with stride and they truly  forgive, and forget. Childlike faith is the purest form of faith, and a child's love is the purest form of love. It has no contingencies, it has no limits. A child who grows up believing they can do anything, accomplish their dreams, and have everything may do just that. 

2 weeks ago I was sitting with a a friend I have known since grade school, 3rd grade to be exact, and we were sipping our drinks and talking about the usual. Who got married, who is pregnant, the amazing men in our lives, and work.  We haven;t gotten to see each other much over the last few years- she was getting her feet planted in her new job and I was enjoying living in Norman- so we were loving catching up. :)

-

I was explaining to her that she and I are some of the only people we know who enjoy what we do. We don't dread it, we don't stay in it out of habit or comfort, we don't feel trapped. I started to explain to her that I don't want to go back to school to finish up my degree just to do it. I don;t want to spend 3500.00 a semester to have a piece of paper that tells me I accomplished something and do something I hate because "I'm an adult now".  I don't want to push pencils, I dont want to crunch numbers or sit at a desk all day. I dont want an office with a view. I don't want to stare at a computer. I don't want a business degree, I dont want a finance degree, and now I don't want a psych degree. I was getting extremely frustrated and upset when she said "Well what do you want?" . I paused and I said "I want to help kids. I want to inspire. I want to change lives, I want to be happy... I want to do something that MEANS something...something that makes a difference."

 She smiled and said  "You need to teach."

 

The first time Jon smiled at me, I  didn't know I loved him- but I knew he was going to be a huge part of my life. It was one of the strongest feelings I had ever felt, and it really threw me for a loop. I was never that girl. So  I tried to force myself to discredit this feeling- it was just his eyelashes and pretty teeth and I was a sap, but here we are...5 years later. and I tell you what- I'm really good at loving him.... <3

 So Jessica's statement hit me like a ton of bricks. So simple. Like a child telling me something they couldn't believe I didn't come up with by myself.  Jessica is a teacher. She just finished her 2nd year, and she is amazing. She and I have always been very close- and very much alike. Watching her eyes light up as she talked about her job was incredible. It's what I want. Not just her happiness; but the things she does. Everything I want is in teaching; and I think I could do it very well. Im not good at alot of things- but Im good at things I pour my heart into. I pour my heart into the people I love, I pour it into singing and writing, I pour it it into travel, and I would pour it into this.

Once again I am researching my options- forcing myself to take it slow. The earliest I told myself I would go back to school and pursue this is December- I don't have a ton of school left. But like the man in my life- I think this is gonna stick. I just wanted to let everyone know that it may be speaking to soon- but I think this going to be another "big thing".

Jon and I were riding in the car as I oh-so-casually brought this up. He nodded and smiled and said "I really think you could do this. And do it well." Beautifully simple.  "It what I want..." I said as I looked out the window. "I want to work with kids, I want to spark creativity and instill possibilities, I want to speak Italian and go to Italy, I want to have beautiful babies with you, I want to make a difference, I want to go to Disney World, I want to be someone that pushes people to believe they can achieve greatness..."

"Jon laughed and said "Geez you want alot..." 

 I grinned and said " We get one life babe,  all I want is everything..."

Every Once and a while there is a song....

Songs are written to be easily related too. Well- most of the time. So it doesn't surpise me when I hear songs about a girl who has a smart mouth and blue eyes and he loves her anyways and blah blah blah. I don't have that "OMG this is soooo my song!!!" moment that you have when you are 16 and you want to impress your friends by saying "My boyfriend says that songs totally reminds him of me..." when you actually just made it up to watch their faces twist into an "awwww"; to praise a "relationship" that will last 3 weeks.

 Some of my favorite songs are beautifully simple- anyone can relate to them; but they are so divine in the way they communicate the emotions we go through that it makes the hair on your arms stand up, your throat swell, and becomes a permanent song on your Ipod. You can be in a perfect relationship, and hear a song you heard after a bad break-up or event in your life- and have it just torture you. I found a playlist on my Ipod the other day with the kind of songs I'm talking about- I had it saved on the computer but didn't listen to it because it was so emotionally exhausting. Ups and Downs and curveballs..These are some of me best memories, and some of my happiest moments. These are the songs I listened to with my best friends, and These are the nights I spent curled in a ball crying on my bedroom floor, these are the songs I listened to falling in love-and trying to let go of it. So much intensity for 25 years! Haha; but everyone has those songs- and these area few of mine...


1.)If You Wanna Be My Lover- Spice Girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YdemGR2Hcw&feature=fvsr

Yes the Spice Girls!!! I spent more time jumping on the bed with hairbrushes (microphones-duh!) with Jill, Megan., and Jessica singing this song than I did anything else there for a stint of time. We all had our little parts...and oh the clothes...haha. Just love them :)

2.)We Danced Anyways- Deana Carter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wE66MPAO3Es

Like any little girl- I wanted to be a singer. I would put on headphones and sing to Nicole so she couldn't hear Deana Carter- and she would reassure me I could be a singer (What a good sport) haha. She loved me enough to lie! Im sure an 8 years old's version of this song is bad enough- but ACAPELLA? Sheesh. Everytime I hear it I think of that :) then I think of when I was older- 5th grade to be exact- I sang it for my music teacher to try our for the talent show. I had somewhat found my voice by now, but she didn't cast me! Bitch. I was robbed.

3.)Kokomo- beach Boys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ChADh1zt5I

This is the first song I remember; I used to put this in my little tape player and dance around in my underwear dreaming about all the places the Beach Boys sang about, i guess i was a travel junkie even as a kid. I would swing around my babydolls and shake my little hiney haha. Good times.

4.)Truly, Madly, Deeply- Savage Garden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQnAxOQxQIU

Oh my gosh! The first time I danced with a boy- 6th grade. He will remain nameless- but I just thought he was the GREATEST thing since sliced bread. I couldn't breathe- and I felt like I was gonna pass out. My hands were so clammy haha- gross. Oh wow. I floated home and wrote all about it in my diary. Then locked it up tight of course and hid the key in its normal place, the pillowcase, and fell asleep smiling.

5.) All My Life- K-Ci and Jojo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXvMT_mVbqw

Ohhh bring on the heartbreaks of our youth. Remember the aforementioned school dance? Well this was the one after it- like 3 months later. Same guy too- yeah this was a long one haha. I had been standing there all night looking all wall- flowerish in my denim and white belly shirt and best jeans- no results had come of my  "oooh im so boooored (look at him) oooh i wish I could dance I love this song (look at him)" subtleness, so I finally had worked up the ladyballs to ask him to dance to THIS song. He looks at me and says "Umm- she asked me-maybe later?" oh.    my .  god.  It was so Jessi Spano's caffeine pill-breakdown in Saved By the Bell (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bflYjF90t7c) that I was found boo-hooing in the girls bathroom for the rest of the dance and refused to talk to him for weeks lol. Oh goodness if only that were the worst it ever got. Sure felt like it though.



6.)Honey- Mariah Carey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3KOowB4k_k

oh Jessica's stepdad was a patient man. Back when the greatest thing ever was going to the mall for your birthday; he took us for her 13th or something- and gave her a pager haha, (she later asked us to page her when she was getting her nails done...just so it would look cool ;)  I bought this tape and we listened to it about 100 times on the way home and for weeks. 7 girls singing this song-even all the "aaaaaah's" and "ooooooh's" and at the top of our lungs was sure to be annoying to say the least haha.

7.)Butterfly- Crazy Town

Fast Forward a few years- I am 15-ish and have a boyfriend. Ohhh man and he was cutie pie. We would i.m. chat all the time, and hold hands, and I got all giggly and nervous when he would put his arm around me. I was always blushing and making up excuses to hug him. He had the longest eyelashes I had ever seen. We went ice-skating and were taking a break and this song comes on and he looks at me, smiles, and says "Cmon babe- come and dance with me.." i'm pretty sure we almost fell alot- but we were on the ice to this song. Great guy, that one. Still a friend of mine :)

8.)Breathe- Faith Hill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCmsZUN4r_s

Fast forward to high school, another dance- they were the death of me haha- I had been sort-of dating a guy for a while, and we kind of broke it off and he was at this dance with this girl, ugh, who was not half as cute as I was. Or so I believed at the time. Scratch that- still believe it haha. I had watched them all night and was sick of it, She was all rubbing his arm and glancing at me...I was getting ready to leave when this song comes on. I'm standing next to a girlfriend and in true pre-drinking age fashion- I chug what is left of my punch, slam down the cup, turn on my 22 dollar high heels and start strutting. I grab him, we dance for about minute and I kiss him. I brace myself stand on my tiptoes, put my hand on the back of his neck and just lay one on him. Then I smile at her- and walk out. I'm pissed and teary eyed and walking on gravel- ouch, when he comes up behind me and like a teen movie I turn- and as one tear falls I say "I don't want to hear it- have fun." SLAM goes the car door, and me and my girlfriends are off. Ha. Thats when I started getting bitchy I think....

9.)Rock Your Body- Justin Timberlake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSVHoHyErBQ

Its after highschool- and Im at my usual weekend spot. Dancing to this song and drinking terrible beer. Im keeping it light- trying not to get to worked up over the fact that my new love interest is totally wonderful. Everyone's having a good time and laughing at the ones who started to early and are stumbling by now. My best friend and I are secretly pouring the terrible beer down the sink or carrying the same one for hours...weren't into drinking a whole lot back then. Let the good times roll.

10.)When I hear your Name- Keith Anderson; Tell Me That it's Not Just Me- Rascal Flatts

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx47k1c5dvk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtjmhhCw0hA

its 4 or so months later; Yes-we had broken up. and these songs ruined me. Simple as that.

11.)When I'm Up- Great Big Sea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-oC-kNtPTs

Back Together- Yay!

12.) Iris- Goo Goo Dolls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdYWuo9OFAw

Tears, Lakes, Stars, Late night Drives and

Bad Decisions. Broken up again.

13.)I Feel Bad- Rascal Flatts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZZijys9Zu4

In the words of the former song "You can't fight the tears that aint comin...." If anyone's ever reached this point...it pretty much blows. Its almost as bad as missing someone so terribly you can't sleep. When you start to forget and not care.... that's when It just kind of pitiful.

ONE YEAR LATER.........


14.)Everything Else Disappears- Sister Hazel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc3Aj0eZq3w

I swear this song is when Jon and I met. I felt like my final puzzle piece. The first time I noticed him was when he laughed. It was so loud- it filled the entire room. It gave me butterflies- weirdest thing ever. I hadn't even seen his face yet- but I knew I wanted to know him.

15.)She Likes Me for Me- Blessed Union of Souls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9CjkWQ9tOI

Jon calls me one night and says "Hey! Ive been listening to this song and dancing in my underwear- reminds me of you! Listen to it! Haha. So cute.

16.)Far Away- Nickelback; Don't Say Goodbye-Skillet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4y-RzVGrHg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XzA0FEEyF8


We are broken up. Im in the fetal position on my bedroom floor. I have literally ripped my bed apart and thrown it out because I can't sleep in it. These songs still makes me feel sick.

17.) Over You- Chris Daughtry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m02-RHN_hQE

Pissed off part of my breakup haha- I've got a new bed after 2 months; Me and Jill are wearing bandana's and painting my bedroom bright colors and blaring this song- Its a lie of course; but Im trying to be positive and the anger helps.

18.)Crazy Love- Van Morrison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vS8GKcl9KQ

Long story short- Jon pulls his head out of his hiney after I wont speak a word for 6 months via e-mail, text, phone or through friends, and 4 and a half years later here we are. Love of my life. Could've killed him- but good things come to those who wait. <3 <3 <3

Practicality... overrated or completely necessary?

I have an addiction. A BIG one. It's all I can think about a lot of the time. Everytime I pay all of my bills and have some left over I put it in my savings account, buy myself a drink, and usually dream of making more money. Shallow I know. Food, shelter, and basic survival necessities....like Netflix.... dominate my bank account. I'm fine with this. Usually. But then I get that all familiar feeling. The itch- if you will. I start to dream about it. So I start a change jar as a "If I have extra change, i'll just throw it in here and see what happens" convenience,

 ---->Which turns into a "just a few bucks every shift...." 

 To a "hmmm could probably throw a 20 in there and not miss it..." 

 To a full blown-foaming-at-the-mouth, pick up extra shifts, 

work until I can barely stand, money -grubbing fiasco.

 All to contribute to what started as a "change jar".  It's time to come clean.

I am a total and complete travel junkie.

Next to my boyfriends kisses, I never knew I would crave something more than chocolate.

Chocolate is a beautiful thing. It makes me happy when I am sad, Paying for it has never been a problem, There is always an abundance of it everywhere I go...

But travel....oh travel how you have stolen my heart.  You make my mind dance, and the corners of my mouth turn up slightly into a bright smile when I think about you. You dominate my dreams; and I wake up in a trance after one of our escapades together to Jamaica, Italy, or....dare I say it..... DISNEY WORLD.

I am a total addict. I have been very blessed in my semi-adult life to have gotten to see a few places, usually by the gracious nature of the wonderful people in my life. I have always been fairly careful- never doing more than I could, saving for a year or more in a seperate account from my regular savings account before taking a trip, turning them down if I just couldn't stomach the cost of it... I saved 5000.00 to put down on my car like I planned, still have 1200.00 in a savings account and add to it regularly, always pay my bills on time, live fairly frugally but don't feel deprived of getting to be fairly social.....why am I defending myself? Because Im SICK of being practical.

Ugh. I hate it. I love it in the sense that I can take care of myself, and I'm arrogant enough to REALLY enjoy that, but other than that I just hate it.  I couldn't be irresponsible financially if I tried...i just don't have it in me. Im way to OCD. But sometimes I get so sick of not being like others my age and just jet-setting and "seeing what happens.". On that note, I have done some soul-searching lately, and decided after much back and forth tugging and number crunching and trying to talk myself out of it.....for 5 years....that (pardon my french) Im going to f*ckin Disney World.

Now....Im going to Chicago in July, but thanks to Jon's new Honda Civic that gets killer gas mileage (Thank you Scott and Paula) and our gracious friends Chase and Diandra, we will be driving there cheaply,eating lots of meals in-home, and staying for free. While we will definitely be exploring the city and hitting the famous haunts i.e. Cubs Game, Lake Michigan, and a Lunch/Dinner Cruise from Navy Pier, it should be fairly inexpensive. Good for me because as aforementioned- I'm a travel junkie but I'm also stingy, Good for Jon because he's a downright Jew, and has an important piece of jewelry to pay for sometime THIS YEAR.

These were our plans.Well.....introduce the lovely Merric and Alisha into the mix.

Meet Alisha: Gorgeous, funny,  thoughtful, my "Monday Fun-day" and girl date companion;

AND very good at "that's what she said" jokes... (yes Im flattering her- soon you will see why...)  whose parents own part of a resort on DISNEY PROPERTY. and-get this-she gets to stay there, with pals, FOR FREE.  I am not completely shallow- we were already very good friends before I realized she wasn't just awesome- but came with perks.

Now meet Merric-

Also very pretty, silly,so  fun to be around, dating one of my favorite men ever, 

and looks like Erin from the Office. (I'm sorry...I had to...)

She is a lucky bizzle who got to work there. and gets in for free (insert knife into my heart) BUT- can also get in friends for free for 5 days. Oh.    My.   God.  

Yes. you heard me. I didn;t know either of these things until after I voiced that I would go to Disney World, by myself  if I had to cut out my own kidney- Aron Ralston style, sell it on the black market, and get a tattoo on my face. I don't know what those have to do with each other. Its just really damn dramatic.

Then I hear these two things, Then get this, Mark (Merric's boo and my buddy) says he's in.  SCORE. and. after begging and pleading, LITERALLY ALMOST TEARY-EYED, and swearing I'd pay for us both (even though he won't let me) Jon agrees. If this works out financially as cheap as it could- he is totally in as well.   I am a happy, happy. girl. I now am contributing to my Disney Jar. It hasn't taken precedence over anything else yet, I am still keeping up with my regular savings account, but I've gotta say....I can see myself eating alot of Ramen if it means saving on groceries....and going to Disney ;)

So, I ask you a question, is it completely impractical for me to be traveling instead of saving for a house instead? or something along those lines? We both have new vehicles, my payments aren't a problem, I have $$ in a separate account and my credit card balance is basically nothing. We have no debt, and live in a shoebox but are happy with it. We will have a wedding- but plan on having a lengthy engagement to put money back to put twoards it, and we don't plan on having kids soon-so we don't really need a house... but should a house be what we should be concentrating on? Am I being impractical....or simply doing what I can when I can; because I can? I'll be straight with you- I'm going to go no matter what the feedback is-haha; but your advice honestly is welcomed and appreciated. :) 

These are a few of my favorite things...

Obviously I have been  feeling a bit....frustrated lately. However; in an attempt to communicate that I am NOT a complete antagonist- I have decided over the last few days to rediscover the beauty in simplicity. In short: the little things in my life that make it all seem to even out.

1. Get ready to vomit....my boyfriend.
    Admittedly not a small part of my life- but it's the things he does.  He gets a glass of wine ready when I text him "S.O.S" or "Today sucks :(  ".     That something small.....and brilliant.  
-He will rub my back or play with my hair as I vent about the customers who left me 2 dollars on a 40.00 ticket- totally 34 dollars made in 5 hours; and allow me to be as negative and whiny as I want: probably because he knows if you play with my hair or rub my back it is about 15 minutes before I completely pass out.

2. Dinner/Drinks on the Patio
Whether its with friends, Jon, or my family there is something about eating dinner, drinking wine and socializing outside that makes everything better. I love not having the distraction of a blaring tv or the baby screaming at the next booth. Not to mention the pretentious women and men are to worried about their hair or suits to want to eat outside; so it is a place of Corona's, laughter, and on a Thursday night at Cha-Cha's-live music. Yes Please.

3. Random Dancing
Thanks to my coworkers for the random dancing that occurs during work hours and after the doors lock. Especially to 90's music. Nothing makes a gripey Randi laugh like Whitney Houston impressions and doing "the butterfly" to Marc Anthony.

4. A good Bible verse
I am admittedly not an overly religious person, but every once and a while I will whip that Bible out and open it up to a page that expresses exactly how I am feeling.  Its amazing.

5. Looking pretty
A good hair day and red lipstick makes me feel gorgeous, classy and extravagant.  If I dont want to go to work I usually throw my hair up in a ponytail, but when I REALLY don't want to go- I at least make sure I look pretty....then it isn't so bad. Shallow as that sounds.

6.Audrey Hepburn
Maybe its because she reminds me of my grandmother. Small, dark haired and petite. Dark brown eyes, long eyelashes, speaking in a light voice and never speaking a harsh word...now she passed away when I was 12 so Im sure its become a bit idealized haha, but this my grandma was always picture perfect. She wore slacks, button ups or sweaters every day- Even of she didn't go anywhere. She wore White Shoulders perfume- a mix of Gardenia, Jasmine and Sandalwood. When I watch Audrey Hepburn and the careful way she speaks, her poise and sweet smile, the way she glides when she walks. I can't help but think that if grace had a face- it would be hers. I completely idolize her.

7. Puppies
Come on. Who can have a bad day and not be cheered up by a cute little fumbling puppy. To hold it up and bury your face in its warm little neck, to smell its breath when it yawns. Sheesh.


These are a few of my favorite (little) things. There are many more- but these are probably the tip top of the simplicity list. I love my life. I love that I am not afraid to tell it like it is and reap the consequences for being one of the few people I know who say the things others won't. I also like that there are things that never cease to make me happy. Things that make me smile, close my eyes and thank the good Lord for never ceasing to lighten the load a little bit. Even when I don't deserve it.   Like a flower growing though a crack in the sidewalk- the good finds a way in. There are alot of things to complain about- but there are also alot of thing to treasure.

Negativity rears its ugly head.

Im going to get straight to the point.  Im sick of people bitching.

" I don't know the key to success; but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."-Bill Cosby


Now, this is an ironic statement, I know. One that I make often in alot of different ways, and to complain about people complaining is a bit redundant and juvenile, maybe a bigger person could let it slide, let the light shine in, take the high road- etc. I suppose I am just not a good enough person to be the one "above" everyone else. In a few different areas of my life I am surrounded by people who bring me down- not to a depressed state because let's face it- I've got it pretty damn good, Ive made my own luck, but to an "oh my gosh put on your big girl panties" state. I'm not even angry. i'm EXHAUSTED. I'm so over this total buzzkill-pity-pity-poor-me bullcrap .

What's funny is a lot of the problems these people are having is caused by their own actions and attitudes. Have you ever just wanted to grab someone's shoulders, shake them viciously and scream "MAYBE IT ISN'T EVERYONE ELSE! MAYBE ITS YOU!!! YOU ARE THE COMMON FACTOR YOU IDIOT!"
Sheesh. Harsh, but true. and the laziness- oh my gosh the laziness- the complete entitlement "the world owes me something because im not a crack addict" attitude that the kids of our generation have is sickening. They want a cookie for HAVING a job. Well.... making 8 bucks an hour and sitting at a desk playing solitaire all day doesn't exactly constitute as a warranted reason for a commemorative ceremony.

Alot of people work ALOT harder than me, I have been very fortunate to maintain a steady job that I can make a living doing, a job in our economy is a blessing- but I am not afraid to work. Maybe my arrogance overtakes me, and my independance and pride make me come of as a total right-wing-Republican "make your own destiny" soap-box carrying fool- but I have a point- and if alot of people can get past the "She's an arrogant woman, she's not in my shoes, what does she know," attitude they can see that my message is simple/.

"If you spent as much time trying to make more money, or fix your relationship, or stop looking for one, or working instead of complaining about your job-  as you do whining, blogging, facebooking, and having a pity party...chances are...you wouldn't have any time or need to do any of those things. Get off your butt."

Im encountering this everywhere. At work, in personal relationships, in people I dont even know, the other day the post office a woman was talking about how "why does this always take so long- geez there is only two of them- ugh I have been here for 15 minutes- wow that man is SLOW- cant they just.."  I finally said "Can't YOU just SHUT UP.  You're worse than the WAIT. They're doing their job. Let it go."

True story. I have had it, lol. I am a happy person- I dont like when Im not the chipper, bouncy, bubbly me than I and everyone (usually) enjoys- but Ive also always been alot like my parents. I work hard. I support who I need to, right now its me, someday it will be my family, and Im not afraid to do everything I need to to make that happen. I refuse to do "just enough" or "what Is acceptable" I will do what my parents did: work their asses off to make a life for me and mine. Not stepping on people in the process- but finding it hard to feel sorry for those who aren't willing to put forth the effort to do more than what is deemed "just enough".

I am thankful for being raised with this mentality. I am thankful for being raised strong, independent , stubborn, and honest. I am thankful to have a partner in this life who shares all of this with me- and although he is more forgiving in nature; and I have no problem in admitting that he is probably a better person than I am; i know he secretly loves that my no-nonsense attitude gets things done, and tells it like it is. I am thankful that I believe in myself enough that In my recent years I have come to terms with something-. I don't feel the need to explain myself anymore.  This is huge for me.

So people get your chin up. today is a new day. People have it so much worse than we do. Yes the gas prices suck, and our President  has spent a ton of money, and its hot, and taxes are due, and your kids are making you want to kill them, and your boyfriend/girlfriend left the toilet seat up/down, or you dont have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or your hair doesnt look the way you want it to today.  Enjoy the sunshine. Take a breath, and thank the good Lord for giving you another day to see the sky.


“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Waitress Woes

I am going to start off by saying that even though you'd never believe it after reading this- I love my job. It's why I've done it for so long, it's why Im good at it, it's why I make fairly good money an have been able to support myself for 5 years, and it's why I don't dread going to work every day. I really don't! I consider myself lucky to have a job that I (mostly) enjoy doing. I know everyone hears waiters and waitresses complaining. I do it too. They complain about their tips, how bad their feet hurt, yady-yada. Some people just need to get a different job. This is the gig you signed up for, you know what is expected of you.


But every once and a while-there is a day, or a table, or even a statement that just reminds me why This job (seems to be) one of the most underrated and under-appreciated occupations out there. Here's a couple of reasons as of why.

1.) We deal with people all day every day who are hungry, tired, have had a LONG day, or can't afford to go out but its a special occasion.

Now I don't know how you guys are when you are hungry- but I for one can get extremely impatient, irritable, and downright fussy. So I understand. You pair this with tired/frustrated from work- and it multiplies by about 5. But here's what I want to say to the tables who make it a point to say

 "umm miss?! Where's the bread? what do you mean its in the oven?! and We ordered an appetizer almost 10 minutes ago!"-

You aren't the only one in here. Everyone around you is hungry, tired, just home from work too- that's why they are here. Why is the bread in the oven? because like you no one eats 1 loaf, they eat 4 or 5, and when 30 tables eat 4 or 5 loaves (literally) we can only get it out so fast. Why is your appetizer taking a minute? Because everyone else has one of those too. We have an open kitchen- watch how fast our cooks work. Pretty effing fast. Chill.

2.) Why is our food so behind? We are starving! and Where's the bread?!

" I told you 3 minutes ago it had 5 minutes in the oven.  5-3=2.  It has 2 minutes left in the oven."

3.) Beat your kids.

As aforementioned in previous blog- keep your kids in their seats. Dont let them run around and scream and sit there like you have no control over them. Dont look at me like I'm a monster when I turn the corner at full speed ( because I have 6 tables, all wanting their appetizers and of course bread) and almost drop a 5 pound 300 degree skillet on top your 3 year old's precious little head because he is running around by himself.. Kids aren't spoiled brats on accident- they have to catch on that they are allowed to be.

4.) "Can we", "May I", "Please" and "Thank You" works wonders

"We need" We're out" "Get us" and simply snapping and pointing at something will get you nowhere.  Manners, people. Even if you are a good tipper (WHICH WE COMPLETELY APPRECIATE :)   ) We are people too- and we are paid our 2 dollars an hour to be polite, bring you food, do what you say, get you 5 loaves of bread, extra ranch, etc. and smile. That's a pretty tall order for 2 bucks an hour- that we never see. The least you can do is be polite- especially if we are running around like a chicken with our head cut off.

5.) Watch your server.

If they are neglecting you and talking in the corner and not doing their job- dont tip them. Plain and simple. I wouldn't blame you one bit.

But if they are stopping and talking to 5 other tables, please for goodness sakes realize that they can't be everywhere at once. It is perfectly acceptable in this instance to say "Miss?" put your hand up (with a smile), Or simple make eye contact. Eye contact means you need us- we get it. waving your arms and shouting like we are blind and deaf is ridiculous.

6.) Helpful signals.- if your server is super busy and you find yourself irritated- or just want to be nice and help them out if they dont have time to stop- heres some waiter/waitress lingo for ya. Do these things and they will take care of you easier and faster, and  they won't have to stop to chit chat.

STACKED PLATES= COME GET THESE
GLASS ON EDGE OF TABLE=FILL THIS UP
CREDIT CARD ON END OF TABLE= WE ARE READY TO LEAVE
CLOSED MENUS=WE ARE READY TO ORDER
JUST RECEIVED FULL PLATE AT THE END OF TABLE= THIS IS WRONG/TASTES BAD

7.) TIPS.

Some servers suck. Plain and simple. they seem irritated, annoyed, they are slow, lazy, etc. I know. trust me. Ive worked with enough of them.  Give them a crappy tip! They'll get the point and get a new job. We'd be happy to be rid of them! Haha. But if they take goo care of you- dont assume their other tables are going to take good care of them for you. Dont even assume others in your party are going to take good care of them! Often we make less with a big party than a small party because everyone assumes the waiter/waitress will automatically get a good sum of money. Nope.

FICT/FACT

FICTION: WAITSTAFF MAKE GREAT MONEY AND AN HOURLY WAGE

FACT: HOURLY WAGE? NOT SO MUCH. GREAT MONEY- YEAH ALOT OF THE TIME WE DO FAIRLY WELL. BUT KEEP IN MIND ALOT OF THE TIME WE DON'T. ITS A VERY DELICATE BALANCE OF TERRIBLE AND AMAZING. WE HAVE TO BUDGET LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE- AND PRAY THE ECONOMY GETS BETTER. THE FIRST THING PEOPLE DO WHEN IT CRASHES IS- NO- NOT COMING OUT TO EAT ALL TOGETHER- THEY JUST SKIMP ON THE TIP. TRUE STORY.

FICT: WAITRESSES AND WATIERS HATE THEIR JOB BUT THE MONEY IS TO GOOD TO LEAVE

FACT: CAN BE TRUE- BUT YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT TO DEAL WITH THOSE NOT SO GOOD TIMES- AND TRUST ME WE HAVE THEM.

FICT- SERVERS FEEL ENTITLED- A TIP IS A PRIVILEDGE

FACT- THIS IS TRUE, IT IS A PRIVELEDGE. BUT WHO ARE WE KIDDING- EVERYONE KNOWS TIPPING IS PART OF GOING OUT TO EAT- IF THE SERVER DESERVES ONE. WE WORK HARD, WE MAKE 2 DOLLARS AN HOUR, WE COME HOME DEAD TIRED, SWEATY AND STINKY. IF WE TAKE CARE OF YOU- TAKE CARE OF US.

FICT: SERVERS WILL SPIT IN YOUR FOOD IF YOU SEND IT BACK.

FACT: I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE IN MY 5 YEARS SPIT IN SOMEONES FOOD. EVER. WE WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU, CALL YOU EVERY NAME IN THE BOOK, BE RUDE TO YOU, PRAY YOU GET HIT BY A CAR (haha) BUT...WE WILL NOT SPIT IN YOUR FOOD. AT LEAST AT MY RESTAURANT. PLUS WE HAVE AN OPEN KITCHEN- WATCH FOR YOURSELF.

FICT: BUSY NIGHTS= THE MOST MONEY

FACT- NOT TRUE. BUSY NIGHTS= LOTS OF HUNGRY PEOPLE. LOTS OF HUNGRY PEOPLE= LOTS OF IRRITATED PEOPLE. LOTS OF IRRITATED/HUNGRY PEOPLE=LOTS OF TABLES. LOTS OF TABLES= LOTS OF FOOD. LOTS OF FOOD= COOKS VERY BUSY. COOKS VERY BUSY= FOOD COMES OUT SLOWER. SLOW FOOD= ANGRY PEOPLE. ANGRY PEOPLE= NO TIP.


8.) Our tables are how we make money- dont hold it hostage forever.

Campers= people who finish their meal and hang out for an extended amount of time.

 We realize it isnt fast food- and you want to visit. Knock yourselves out! But on a busy night we only have 3-4 tables. and if two of those tables are still sitting there for an hour afterward- we lose money. If you want to leave a bigger tip- consider it booth rent- and we will treat you like gods and goddesses. But if not, understandable, but please don't cheat us out of money we could earn. We have to take advantage of the busy nights because there really isn't very many. There are nights I work 7 hours and make 80-100 bucks.  Pretty good gig huh> there are also nights I work 7 hours and make 25-30 bucks. Seriously- this happens way more often than people think. So please- if you get something worth rewarding- remember we depend on the generosity or lack there of- of people. Throw us an extra couple of bucks. We dont get a paycheck.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROSITY. WE REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH. WE ALL HAVE BILLS, SCHOOL, AND SOME OF US HAVE FAMILIES TO SUPPORT. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN UNSTEADY BUSINESS WHERE EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT. WHEN WE HIT A SLUMP- WE MAKE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR HOWEVER LONG THAT SLUMP IS. I MADE 160 DOLLARS IN TWO WEEKS DURING ALL THAT SNOW. YEAH. ROUGH STUFF. BUT I STILL LOVE WHAT I DO, AND GENUINELY LIKE THAT I AM REWARDED FOR MY HARD WORK.   :)

Randi Goes All Controversial

So here are a few of my thoughts and opinions on the issues that people get upset about, not all of them because I am indecisive by nature and don't know exactly where I stand on them. But I do have strong opinions on a few. It is impossible to communicate tone over a blog, but I am actually in a really good mood, haha, but these things have been really chapping my ass lately, and  I do get passionate about them- and It will translate to everything sounding angry. I apologize for this.

 WARNING: If you do not agree with me, that is fine. But do not take it personal, email me, comment, or want to have an in-depth discussion about why because I really don't care. We all have our own opinions on these things...its the beauty of thinking for ourselves. You aren't going to convert me. I respect your opinions, respect mine. Also remember this is a blog, you are free to stop reading at anytime, and you also sought it out after reading the title. Don't act surprised if it isn't all rainbows and butterflies.


1.)  Dear Parents, please beat your children.

In the industry I work in, the food service industry, I want to punch kids in the face daily.  This is terrible to say- allow me to explain. These children are completely out of control. They are running around the restaurant, screaming, throwing cups full of juice at me...I don't work in a Pizza Hut. I work in an Italian Restaurant. Where people go on dates and drink wine, and I have to wear a friggin button up top and a bistro apron.. I had a kid the other day, about 5 years old, thrust his cup in the air, shake it, starts to beat it on the table and scream "HELLOOOOO?!".  His mother thought this was ADORABLE.  The only thing worse that the " I have no rules and treat my parents like crap cuz they let me" kids and the ones that throw tantrums and get ice cream. To shut them up.  Are you stupid?  I actually forgot where I was the other day and looked right at a kid, who was jumping around, screaming and throwing sugar packets, I snapped and said "Hey! Butt in seat!!"  The kids eyes got as wide as saucers, he shut his mouth sat down and voluntarily started picking them up.  This is when I started to panic.... I was at work.  Crap.  His mother, who had been sitting there looking like the devastated victim the whole time; looks at me and, Thank God, says "That.  was.  amazing."

I dont have kids... but I know how hard they can be. My brother is 14 years younger than me. I spent alot of my adolescent life babysitting lots of different kids before I got a job. Don't tell me its impossible to get them to mind. If you can get them to without laying a finger on them more power to ya, otherwise you'd be amazed at how much their manners will improve if you will smack em on the ass every now and then.

2.) Homosexuality- To Each Their Own

Holy Christ. This irks me more than anything else probably.  Who has the right to judge anyone on a sexual preference in a relationship involving 2 consenting adults?? Who has the right to judge anyone else at all?
 "Its says so in the BIBLE!!"- Bitch have you ever read the entire Bible? It says all kinds of stuff we arent supposed to do! Cut our hair, wear rings, football, tattoos, polyester or fabric blends, Divorce, birth control, eat friggin shellfish....also the way it is stated in bible was in reference to men and small boys....what is now known as child molestation/abuse. Theologians have confirmed this. Look it up.

To each their own- basically let people live their own lives and make their own choices. They aren't butting their way into your life so kindly see yourself out of theirs. If you were to meet someone on the street that was gay but you had no way of knowing, and you actually talked to them, and got past what you think you know about them and their choices, you would see two eyes, a nose, a mouth.  Hear a laugh, make conversation, find out you both grew up in the same city. You find a person. Someone worthy of respect. Someone you are glad you met. To have an opinion you have to see both sides, therefore be open-minded...otherwise you are just ignorant.

3.) I have no money boo-hoo.

I can't count how many people complain about money and do nothing to change their situation.  Who do a job making close to minimum wage that takes very little effort, and their main problem is fighting boredom, to act surprised when they get paid for their little effort and whine incessantly.  I (usually) make good money- guess what- I run my ASS off. I come home sweaty, dirty, stinky and dead tired. I don't have time, to spend time whining. I know its frustrating, I know its easier said than done, but get another JOB. Make an effort for goodness sakes. or HUSH. because of you aren't doing anything to change- we are all sick of hearing about it. Thats like "awww im so fat"...donut donut donut.  It isn't rocket science.

4.)Misery loves company-Human Buzzkill

Do you know people like this? Negative Nancy, cant be happy about anything or for anyone. Its always how bad it is for them, how nothing ever goes right....so the sit and wallow and whine.  Blame everyone else.  We all have our moments or our days. Heck I do. Its natural. But goodnight...sometimes I just wanna slap these people. Its every day all the time. Find a hobby!

5.) In the words of Jon's Dad- "Facebook-in"

Im so sick of people using facebook as a middle school hallway.  A place to get into other people's conversations and stir-up drama, get all offended, un-friend people.....seriously....and be all passive aggressive. Status update "I wish this B would just mind her own business!!"  Makes me wanna say "have the balls to tell us who you're talking about pansy ass." This seems totally opposite of what I'm saying until I explain- middle school hallway. Whisper Whisper, Deny, Deny, Deny. Fake smiles and all. Hate it. I'm not saying everyone should insult each other freely and start throwing virtual rotten tomatoes, but stay out of conversations that arent about you, let people fight THEIR OWN battles. If you are trying to spare someones feelings thats one thing- but being to much of a coward to tackle a situation head on is another.

and thats a wrap. Haha.  Hope no one got to stirred up. One thing you dont have to worry about with me- Im not 2 faced. I'm me. Always. I live in the grey. I respect others opinions even though I obviously have my own. Aggressive some may say- They used to call that Honesty.

I love you not knowing how, or why or from where...

Valentines Day has never been my favorite holiday, even in the years I have had someone to share it with; I never put alot of stock into it.  It doesn't take alot of thought or personalization to decide what to purchase...and as cynical as it sounds, Roses and candy can be bought at Homeland at the last minute on your way home from work.  Now...not to take anything away from these things....but i love things that are personal...and require alot of thought. Careful planning, and take what makes me  "me" into consideration. I realize how that sounds spoiled and selfish, but the point is this:  do you feel cherished every day? or just on a day when society obviously pushes, markets and pokes and prods, and basically forces your significant other to cherish you....or they are a giant horses ass.

My boyfriend is not the most romantic of sorts (sorry babe). It's a little lost on him.... he laughs at my romantic comedies, he mutters "that would NEVER happen" when they give their big "I love you speech" at the end of every single one, he thinks fancy restaurants are over-priced, and every deliberate compliment for 4 and a half years is followed by an insult/joke. He can't help himself. lol.

Sometimes I could just murder him. I want romance, danget.Sometimes I get a bit worried, i know it isnt necessarily a "cornerstone" in a life with someone, but a main problem is losing each other...getting to busy to stop and appreciate one another If we have already lost the little bit we have in 4 and a half years...what about the rest of our lives?

BUT:........................

That man adores me.  Sounds arrogant...but its kind of true. He says more with a look, a smile, a raised eyebrow, than any conversation i've ever had with anyone else. I have loved, and lost. I have wept over what I believed to be failure. I have been so angry I could rip him in half.....seriously. But no one understands me, accepts me, suprises me, and completes me like he does. I feel that every day. So maybe Valentines Day isn't my favorite, because it seems overdone, cheesy and a little fake. But what we have is real....and I hope the rest of you are as happy as I am  :)   The best words i have ever found to express this is a poem by Pablo Neruda....Read it slowly. Read between the lines. Figure out what he is really saying.    Enjoy.  :)


I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without complexities or pride:
I love you because I know no other way than this
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so close that when your eyes close, I fall asleep.

      

Fairytales

What girl doesn't want the grand gesture?  Pretty dresses, dancing, the moment in the rain when the kiss is so strong you feel like you have no legs...basically every romantic film i've ever seen has had one or all of these, and as much as I tell myself it's unrealistic, and that's not every day life, I feel myself getting sucked in every time. I love my boyfriend; more than I love anyone in the world. Most of the time it is the little things that make me love him even more, like last night when I had a little to much wine and he knocked out the rest of the beer in the fridge and we had the brilliant idea of baking brownies at midnight- with no eggs. Haha. It was a chocolaty gooey mess.  Delicious though.  Ugh I went on a tangent- anyways- about 85 percent of the time this keeps me more than happy...but every great once and a while I want ROMANCE. I want him to not be so......every day. I want dancing for no reason, I want candles and rose petals, I want a suprise weekend getaway like I planned for him a few years ago, I want thought and effort haha. This sounds awful- because he is the best person I know. He's selfless, and patient, he does the dishes lol, he accepts that I sometimes have a  bipolar 5 minute rampage when I can find anything in our tiny apartment- so this really is my only constant complaint. Its a futile one; it's not malicious or on purpose on his end, but I can't help but wish there was more   cheesiness in our relationship haha. Sincere cheesiness. I have said something a few times- but i feel like such agre complaining about anything since he is so good to me. I just wish he'd want it too, and come up with these things on his own. Boo. No romantic comedies for me for a while- they are ruining me.  lol