Being Successful-On Your Own Terms

I am a competitive person. I always have been.  I want to be- THE best. I want to do well academically. I want to be the friend that people feel lucky to have, and I want to be that person that isn't to busy to have alot of friends. I want to have enough money to be comfortable, but not so much that I get lazy and unappreciative. I want to know the value of hard work, without slowly breaking myself down physically so i can't run around with my kiddos. I want to feel good about myself physically- enough to be confident in a bikini-but still enjoy bacon and cupcakes and steak- and not be judgmental of others who are more fit/less fit than myself. I want to be well-rounded but specialized.  This isn't to much to ask right?

Here's the thing- we all compare ourselves to others way to much.  A list of positive and negative attributes does not define your character. We have all dated that person who looks great on paper, who is smart and attractive and funny- and you look at them- and you know the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. We've all know that person who, in terms of the worlds definition of "achievements" has next none- they didn't finish college, or even high school- but they've loved the same person for 40 years, they put their blood sweat and tears into making a life for the children they raised- and now those kids are what the world defines as "successful". I'm not saying one is more important than the other, i'm just saying "success" is defined on your own terms. YOU decide how you feel about your choices, you decide how the world will build you up or break you down.  You are important- you have a place. Don;t be so hung up on keeping up with others that you lose sight of what kind of person you want to be. 

Enjoy yourself.  Breathe in, breathe out- kiss your spouse until they're annoyed (I do this often) when you start to get irritated (I do that often too) take a breath. Is this 20 minutes of your life you're willing to lose to argument? You never get it back....how important is it really? What good is all that work to make more money-that money you're putting away so you can live life- when you're missing it?  What good is it to be someone who busted their butt to get into shape if your going to use it as an excuse to judge people who aren't yet where you are? If you stress the importance of being free-thinkers to your kids- and then download onto them all of your views and refuse to listen to theirs- whether their 5, or 8, or 32,- how does that make them "Free" thinkers?  These are things I ask myself- not about others- but about myself. The kind of person and parent I want to be- but I know I will fall short. Because it's human nature to think your opinion and way is the right way- otherwise you would feel differently, its ok to compare yourself to others in terms of almost everything. It's ok to want to be better; It's ok to be opinionated- and even passionate-being  judgmental is the downfall of strong opinions. Of yourself and of others.

Now- allow me to clarify.  Jon and I are practical people, but we do not think of ourselves as the be all end all of anything.  We question ourselves a lot- and we can be mildly insecure about certain things.  We want to live comfortably enough that god forbid an emergency is upon us- we have a nest egg. We both grew up knowing the importance of a dollar, and had parents who worked their tails off to earn a few. Financial stress is something we are familiar with, not right now- but we have PLENTY of experience.  But IF you're fairly  comfortable. In your home, with your bills and there is food on the table- take some time to breathe. I have that luxury and many do not. I can work part-time, go to school, and we are fairly fine.  I know some people think I don't realize how lucky I am.  I thank God every day.  Every damn day. In my prayers at night I praise him for allowing me a life that I feel blessed and undeserving alot of the time to have. 

I compare myself to others. I'm a 27 year old waitress. I'm a size 6- sometimes an 8 in the hips. I weigh 129 pounds.....in the morning. I am an Elementary Ed major who hates noise  (hilarious, right)  I have 32 dollars in my wallet, and I don't have kids because I'm to selfish to have them right now. I wanted to throw a Coke at the "homeless guy" I saw yesterday who is clean shaven, all of 22, and was listening to an Ipod. (Judgemental- yes I am.) Im also insecure, needy, and push my opinions on others. but I am happy.  I fancy myself more fantastic than people probably think I am...lol.  Call that blind cockiness- but its just the way my daddy taught me. I'm surrounded by people that are heart and soul better than I am- and you are the ones doubting yourselves. Be proud.  Stand-up.  Stop explaining. and just Be.